You are a liar and a thief! I ordered two really cool books (on learning to crochet and making stuffed animals, hehe) from Amazon. They were supposed to be delivered on Wednesday, but lo and behold, nothing arrived. I checked the tracking information and to my surprise, it said my package had been delivered on Tuesday, a day early.
Impatient to begin my crafty fun, I called the shipping company. The friendly customer service woman told me they would investigate and that it would take 24 to 48 hours. Not more than 3 hours later, my doorbell rings. Hoping that it was actually my package, just a little late, I open the door to see a very large uniformed guy. The first words out of his mouth are “I’m sorry, I delivered your package to the wrong house and your neighbor is a liar.”
Apparently, he switched the numbers and instead of dropping it off at our address (#1234), he dropped it off at your address (#1243). He saw you pick up the package and take it inside your home. Yet you have the nerve to say that you threw it away because you didn’t know the address.
We live on the same street, just 4 doors down! It’s the SAME STREET! Seriously, all you had to do is walk it down or if you were really feeling lazy, call the shipping company to pick it up and redeliver.
I can’t believe someone would throw a package away that is clearly marked with Amazon’s smiley face. It is obvious, both to me and the shipping guy, that you kept my books and gave them to your wife or kids, or maybe you just kept them for yourself.
Do you sir, like crochet and stuffed animals?
You are old enough to know better! Shaaaaaammme, shame on you! Those were my BOOKS! Now you or whoever you gave them to is doing my crafty stuff! MINE!
I want to march over there and say, “Where ARE my books? I know you have them!” But what would that accomplish? Nothing. You would just lie to me too.
Is this something I can report to the HOA? Hey HOA! My neighbor took my really cute, fun craft books, can’t you put a lien on him or something? Ya, sure. That’ll work.
So instead, I’m just going to bish and moan to every.single.person. that I talk to today. Including all of you!
Dear Neighbor, You are on my @#$&%^ list. You are lucky that Amazon is reshipping my books as we speak. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to control my craft-induced rage and stop myself from bedazzling your door.
Which I might do anyway …